Saturday, July 26, 2008

Things Californians Would Never Say

I appreciate your candor in that regard.

- From a conversation between a native midwesterner and a customer service representative from a domain host

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Jazz Music Is Similar. Artist's Quarter, St. Paul

1: I'm glad The Artist's Quarter exists. The bathroom situation is a little different. But good enough.

2: Good music.

1: You know what they say about classical music being good for your brain? I feel like jazz music is similar.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Cleaner Than My Ex-Wife. West 7th Street, St. Paul

Those dogs are cleaner than my ex-wife. And I'd say they're a lot prettier, too.

Friday, November 30, 2007

I Woke Up So Happy. 55 Hiawatha LRT Westbound

Oh my god! I woke up so happy this morning. I dreamt I was shopping, and it was so real.

Friday, October 19, 2007

I'll be at Spanky's. 74S Eastbound, St. Paul

Can you tell her to call me please? Because this is an emergency, and I need to talk to her. I'll be at Spanky's. The number is ...-...-....
My friend's 13-year old son got busted for having alcohol in her house. And now he just got caught stealing two guns from Walmart. With his friend. Are you still there?

Thursday, June 07, 2007

I'm Talking About Hot Dogs. The St. Paul Grill.

1: I would really like to be in that picture right now. With naked Victorian women.

2: I just think it's really interesting. That was like the goddess body. You know, I wore a bigger size in the 7th grade than I do now.

1: I could really go for a hot dog right now.

3: You're talking about cocktail weenies?

1: No, I'm talking about hot dogs.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Prom Night. Ficocello's Hair Styling Salon.

So you think I should just use silver eye shadow or should I try to find some yellow? Should I just use silver and black? I have silver accessories.
How much should I charge for liquor?