Coleman for Mayor. One of the Oldest Houses, St. Paul

Readability and Dignity Among Artists
1: I'm going to a faculty meeting later. I'll bring your comic there so more people can see it. And I'll say, "Why isn't he teaching here?!"

2: Yeah. I should get to teach there because of the way they treated my brother. Because he has middle-aged eyes, he didn't want to use 8-point type on CD covers, so he got a C.

1: He's hung up on conventional notions of readability, huh? It's like saying, "This bathroom has to look perfect, so we're not putting any towels in it." Well, don't count on me to get you a job there. I have zero credibility.

2: Yeah, they point to you and say, "He's just the guy with the bongos."

1: I promise to be understated and dignified.

You're Not From Here
There's apparently a trailer park in Florida where all the retired circus freaks live. Apparently Lobsterman was abusive, and his daughter's boyfriend offed him there. I suspect you can research this on the Internet. The Internet is a wonderful thing. Remember Andre the Giant? Supposedly he would have a case of beer with a meal. His record was having 150 beers in a night out. You might want to check that out, too.
You're not from here. You missed out on a big part of the professional wrestling scene. Marty O'Neill was a sports announcer, and a little guy. Andre the Giant gave Marty O'Neill his sports coat and it went down to his feet.

Your Family Will Surprise You. Marlena's, San Francisco.

My dad is like a cover story for a midlife crisis. He just got a big Harley and goes out riding with all these guys. They're, like, Catholics and realtors in their 50s. It's a gorgeous bike, though. A big, gorgeous Harley.
My father was so mean. But when I came out, he was so nice and supportive of me. He and my brother were the nicest ones. And I thought they'd hate me. I was surprised because everybody knew anyway, and here I was working so hard to keep it a secret. I brought my boyfriend home for Easter and he and my grandmother were bonding, and I just sat back and thought, how weird is this? I was kind of disappointed because they told my grandfather. He was cool with it, he just said, "Okay." But he was so into me getting married and having kids and everything. My sister gave him a grandson, though. Illegitimate, but all the same. He's a great kid. Best thing that ever happened to my family.

Hmm, California. Chartered Bus, Interstate 80, Sacramento

I've been at weddings before where cell phones were going off all over because no one turned off their cell phones. That was weird. But this was a Lord of the Rings wedding. It was weird. The music was from the Lord of the Rings soundtrack. It was at a garden in Saratoga, really pretty, but there were these little rocks everywhere that you had to walk over. It almost seemed too military. At the reception, people were wearing ears, like Elvin ears. He's white, she's Chinese. All the Chinese people were like, Huh? And all the upstate New Yorkers were like, Hmm, California.

Headed for Dallas. Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport

1. Kid and Grown-Up
Kid: Doesn't it seem like yesterday? Doesn't it seem like we just got here?
Grown-up: No.
Kid: It seems like yesterday to me, because it's so familiar.

2. Passenger Looking Out the Window at a Plane
See, now that one's going fast. That one's fast!

3. Business Woman on the Phone with T. and J.
This is A.
Yes.
Ho ho ho. I know one's T. Now who's the other?
Hey, J., how are you? Yes, you do have a distinctive voice. So what's going on you guys?
Okay. Okay. Yes. Uh huh. Yup. Okay. Yup. Right.
Um, I didn't know that. I didn't know that their parties did that, but I can see why you're doing what you're doing.
Yup. I'm sorry.

4. Business Man on the Phone with A.
This is T.
Ha!
Huh!
Man, did I not call you back? I didn't? That's not good.
Huh? I know.
Actually one day I thought I needed to tell myself I had to call A., or I had to call A.
Actually, I'm sitting in the airport in Minneapolis right now.
Actually, we just need to put it on hold.
Meeting with you was a good thing. We got the budget together. That's step 1.
She's got one of her girlfreinds who's a CPA who's putting a spreadsheet together, you know.
Well, and that's what I told her. This girl's a CPA, she said, and let's do it all in Excel. But then I told her, what are you gonna do at the end of the every month? That's the great thing about Quicken. You can just downlaod it.
Let's be realistic. This hurricane has killed me, just killed my whole month.
I have to get her to understand, we have to make a decision based on base salary, not last year.
She's actually realizing that being a stay-at-home mom is just not working. She's got to get some money saved up. She's just not doing the math.
I've slowed down a lot in the last three weeks since we had that big conversation. Y'know, since we had this hurricane.
Thank you, A.