Things Californians Would Never Say

I appreciate your candor in that regard.

- From a conversation between a native midwesterner and a customer service representative from a domain host

Jazz Music Is Similar. Artist's Quarter, St. Paul

1: I'm glad The Artist's Quarter exists. The bathroom situation is a little different. But good enough.

2: Good music.

1: You know what they say about classical music being good for your brain? I feel like jazz music is similar.

Cleaner Than My Ex-Wife. West 7th Street, St. Paul

Those dogs are cleaner than my ex-wife. And I'd say they're a lot prettier, too.