1: Do you have any superhero stamps?
2: No, I think we're all out. M., do you have any superheroes?
3: There are no more superheroes. They all sold out.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
Jesus Looking for a Body. 74S Eastbound, St. Paul
If we don't renew our mind, you know what? We're gonna be lost in a fool's world.
You know Santa Claus? What we teach all our kids about him bringing all the presents? You know the three pigs? Cinderella? We teaching our kids the big bad wolf and Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. What about Little Red Riding Hood? Teaching our kids how to walk through the park by themselves. You can walk through the park to grandma's house if you want but don't talk to strangers. Your momma was a stranger until she breastfed you.
You know Bill Gates? The computer guy, right? He sells computers to the world, but who gets the reward?
These are myths. Jesus is a myth, too, but that's a myth we should all know because that myth is good.
We treat our animals better than humans. You go to a house now and the dog opens the door. Ain't no more Lassie, ain't no more Rin Tin Tin. You drowning, that dog ain't gonna run to the house for a rope to save you. But we put our trust in the dog. We should put our trust in Jesus.
You know that Jesus is the spirit, right? He's looking for a body to live in, right?
We have to believe in things we cannot see. Some people don't believe in Jesus. But what if they're married? How do they know the spirit of Jesus didn't get their wife or husband to look for them?
You know Santa Claus? What we teach all our kids about him bringing all the presents? You know the three pigs? Cinderella? We teaching our kids the big bad wolf and Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. What about Little Red Riding Hood? Teaching our kids how to walk through the park by themselves. You can walk through the park to grandma's house if you want but don't talk to strangers. Your momma was a stranger until she breastfed you.
You know Bill Gates? The computer guy, right? He sells computers to the world, but who gets the reward?
These are myths. Jesus is a myth, too, but that's a myth we should all know because that myth is good.
We treat our animals better than humans. You go to a house now and the dog opens the door. Ain't no more Lassie, ain't no more Rin Tin Tin. You drowning, that dog ain't gonna run to the house for a rope to save you. But we put our trust in the dog. We should put our trust in Jesus.
You know that Jesus is the spirit, right? He's looking for a body to live in, right?
We have to believe in things we cannot see. Some people don't believe in Jesus. But what if they're married? How do they know the spirit of Jesus didn't get their wife or husband to look for them?
Friday, June 30, 2006
Bus Books. Randolph & Bay, St. Paul
1: What are you reading?
2: Hayduke Lives! It's a book about people who are mad at the way people mess up the environment, so they start fighting back.
1: Oh! That sounds good. I'm reading a book about the murder that happened in White Bear Lake in the early 60s.
2: Is that a new book?
1: No, I got it in a thrift store for 50 cents. It's about this three year old who died in White Bear Lake.
2: I don't know so much about that.
1: His biological mother had put him up for adoption, because she was pretty young, and, you know, that was a different time. But she went back to look for him and found out he had died. So she started investigating. This woman who had adopted him was so mean. You know, he peed a little, so she put a clothespin on his privates.
2: Oh, she was just really abusive.
1: Yes, and back then, you know, it wasn't like it is now.
2: You mean, no services? No one to help out in situations like that?
1: Well, you know, nobody knew about child abuse then.
2: Yeah, it was all very secret.
1: I like mysteries. I read mostly on the bus.
2: Hayduke Lives! It's a book about people who are mad at the way people mess up the environment, so they start fighting back.
1: Oh! That sounds good. I'm reading a book about the murder that happened in White Bear Lake in the early 60s.
2: Is that a new book?
1: No, I got it in a thrift store for 50 cents. It's about this three year old who died in White Bear Lake.
2: I don't know so much about that.
1: His biological mother had put him up for adoption, because she was pretty young, and, you know, that was a different time. But she went back to look for him and found out he had died. So she started investigating. This woman who had adopted him was so mean. You know, he peed a little, so she put a clothespin on his privates.
2: Oh, she was just really abusive.
1: Yes, and back then, you know, it wasn't like it is now.
2: You mean, no services? No one to help out in situations like that?
1: Well, you know, nobody knew about child abuse then.
2: Yeah, it was all very secret.
1: I like mysteries. I read mostly on the bus.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Sick, Wrong, and Wonderful. Lula's, St. Paul
1: They make a deep-fried tater tot that is to die for. Have you ever had a deep-fried tater tot?
2: No.
1: They are sick, wrong, and wonderful.
2: No.
1: They are sick, wrong, and wonderful.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Fill 'er Up. Office chatter in San Francisco.
1: It used to cost me 35 dollars to fill up my tank. Now it’s more like 40. You know what you gotta do then, is make more money. You don’t have any problems if you make more money.
2: But when you make more money, you don’t want to give it away.
1: You can’t take it with you.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Loved But Not Loving Back. 74S Eastbound, St. Paul
1: What happened with you and K?
2: She got psycho.
3: She got fat.
2: She's like, square. After two dates, she was like saying she loved me and shit. I was like, alright. I started trying to piss her off.
2: She got psycho.
3: She got fat.
2: She's like, square. After two dates, she was like saying she loved me and shit. I was like, alright. I started trying to piss her off.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Bartender Brandishing a Cheap Brass Jesus. W. A. Frost, St. Paul
Stool 1: You could kill him with Jesus.
Bartender: No, Jesus is hollow.
Stool 1: Oh.
Stool 2: It appears that Jesus is for the half and half-nots.
Stool 3: It appears that Jesus is a jello mold.
Bartender: No, Jesus is hollow.
Stool 1: Oh.
Stool 2: It appears that Jesus is for the half and half-nots.
Stool 3: It appears that Jesus is a jello mold.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Naked, Half-naked, Waxed. 55 Hiawatha Line, Eastbound, Mpls.
She: Want to go to Hooters again?
He: No.
She: Too much torture?
He: Too many naked women there.
She: They're not naked.
He: Half-naked. I just want to rip their clothes off.
She: You're crazy.
He: What the fuck are you putting on? Eye shit?
She: I need to get my eyebrows waxed.
He: Why don't you just pluck 'em?
She: I do.
He: No.
She: Too much torture?
He: Too many naked women there.
She: They're not naked.
He: Half-naked. I just want to rip their clothes off.
She: You're crazy.
He: What the fuck are you putting on? Eye shit?
She: I need to get my eyebrows waxed.
He: Why don't you just pluck 'em?
She: I do.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Longtime Viking Fan. White Rock Coffee, St. Paul.
I'm 82 years old. I don't worry about anything. I get my coffee every morning and watch my football games. Some old people wait around all day for the mailman. That's all they do. They love the mailman. Have you ever tried coffee at this place? It's the best in town.
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