1: My grandfather's nearly blind. We drove him up here. During his midlife crisis, he was in some hotel room in Maryland, everything was carpet. Walls, ceiling, everything. He thought it was the coolest thing ever. So he started collecting carpet for his attic, and did it up. This was during the sexual revolution, Playboy was very big and kitschy.
2: This place still exists?
1: Yes. And now they're trying to sell the house with the carpet in the attic intact. Everyone wants to get rid of it. I want to get rid of it. But the problem is he used this really weird glue and it's impossible to take off. And there are weird signs all over, like "George Washington never lied in bed," with a picture of George Washington's butt over a bed. And of course, everything's black-lit. It goes on and on and on.
2: Oh my god.
1: So I realized that this is not a normal thing to have in your grandparent's attic. And that's where all the kids' toys were.
2: [Laughter]
1: So he lost a leg this year. His life is about consumption. He can't see, he can't really walk. But he can taste. So yesterday we were at a family party. It's a very big deal for him to come up here. He's from the Chicago area. He refused to eat anything. And we asked, "What do you want, Grandpa?" And he said, "Habachi shrimp." He knew exactly what he wanted.
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